Friday Five Bonus Round: Midnight in the lady garden of good and better…

This evening after work, I headed over to Made on Marion for the Dreamstress’ Make a Muff class. And what can I say? I, upon occasion (OK, more than occasion…often…one might almost say frequently. OK practically always), have a very filthy mind. 

So yes. We worked on our muffs. And I decided that having not posted on Monday or Tuesday, you guys deserved a bonus round of Friday Five. And because I just have that sort of mind, it’s time for…

VAGINA CRAFT.

Yes really.

I don’t know why, but ever since I accidentally gave an owl plushie I made a little heart-shaped snatch (a story for another time, watch this space), I’ve started spotting things Yonic (the female equivalent of Phallic. Yes, there is in fact a word- derived from the classics no less- for things that look like vaginas.) all over the place. Some of them are overt- like the snatchel, or the Anticraft’s entire issue devoted to merkins. Some of them…well, some of them are more subtle. And so I present to you the moderately NSFW…

Five Craft Things That Look Like Vaginas

First, please enjoy this Love Cypress Paisley fabric from Amy Butler. It was discovering this fabric, and then establishing that it wasn’t just me, that ended with me working on a Lady Garden quilt. Because, as my flatmate put it, “those are some great big lady gardens”. 

Next, there’s Lee Meredith’s Krewe cowl pattern. Not everyone agrees with me on this one but just look at those little ovals, and the way the stitches give the appearance of being two separate…well, lips. I refuse to believe it’s just me. 

Spoonflower? Chockabloc with vajayjays. From this print designed to heighten awareness of Female Genital Mutilation (a very worthy project, about a very serious and awful issue), to this exquisite uterus fabric (no really, that’s the name), to all the avocados and pomegranates in between…yep. 

Scarlet Tentacle on Etsy is famous for her hand-embroidered vaginas, which are both yonic/feminist and very classy, I think. You could display one of these proudly in your home. Probably a better thing to display to your guests than your own vagina…though how do I know? You may have very different kinds of parties to me. (Oh, she also makes adult erotic colouring books, and is a super-lovely seller, who I’ve purchased from in the past, just FYI). 

Finally, there’s the Fertility Blanket from Wooly Wonder- the link will take you to her free patterns page, where you can download the PDF. This is on my to-knit list. Yonic imagery is fun. And this particular field of genitals looks very snuggly!

Flaunt your Maps of Tasmania with pride (well, the crafted ones anyway…unless, as I said, different kinds of parties) and have a great weekend. Want to know more about the muff-making? You’ll have to wait until Monday. 

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